Cold as the night,
The big drops hit his face
Chained to his heart
Was the dead weight of loss;
Her silvery laugh
Echoed in his ears.
Hands clawing through the air
He plummeted into the chasm!
The clouds wept in profusion. . .
©Shailaja V
Word count: 42
This week’s question:
Have you ever seen the rain?
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you used words well here, Shailaja: weights, chasms, chains, silver. I can see how those images tie into losing one’s love.
Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment,James. Much appreciated 🙂
So sad and heartfelt.
Thank you!
Such a sad poem!
Yes, I have seen the rain. It is my favourite season! 🙂
I kind of swing between that and Summer 🙂
This is beautiful! I could almost hear the rush of raindrops as they hit the ground. and the smell. Oh, the smell!
Oh your comment <3 Thanks Yeshu!
I love all this silvery, cold imagery.
Kind of adds to the gloom, you mean? 😉
Well done. A poignant take on the prompt.
Thank you 🙂
So sad but so lovely… Beautifully done .. But give me something happy to read soon 🙂
Hope the later ones have kept you happy 🙂
That last line is really lovely.
Thank you Christine 🙂
So evocative. I love the second stanza, “chained to his heart…the dead weight of loss.” Good writing!
Thank you 🙂
Wow…that is powerful. One never completely gets over the pain or sense of loss, but at first is when the loss is at its most severe.
Very true, Kathy. very true.
You never really get over it… the claws may blunt in time, but they still hurt. Very poignant, Shailaja.
A very poignant one! Can feel his pain!
I read it as a literal chasm, which makes it especially chilling and vivid!
Was the chasm real or metaphorical? I wasn’t sure, but I liked the image.
You know? I hadn’t really thought about it. I guess it could be both or either.
A beautifully poignant take on the prompt.
Thank you Mike!
Very chilling.
Sigh, I guess it is, in a way. Thanks Marcy.
loved the way you wrote this Shailaja
Thank you so much, Tina <3
I have used the rain to hide my tears as well. Well done
And I can relate to that, Carol. Thanks for reading <3
Sad, yet beautiful!! 🙂
Thank you, Shalini!
Painfully beautiful !!
Thank you!
i love your words…the way they burst into meaning… beautiful
in case you think I am sadist 😛 I meant the poem is beautifully sad.
Yes, I got that 😉 Thanks so much, Rajlakshmi <3
What a sad end…may he find her in the other world.
Yes, I hope he does, Mridubala!
hmmm partings are always sad.. this brought some memories 🙁
Oh dear. Nothing too painful, I hope 🙁