I rarely blog on impulse these days. For one thing I don’t make the time to do it. For another, I am constantly wondering if I’d be troubling my readers by frequent posting.Β But today, I cannot help myself. I must blog. I must write. It’s a very emotional day.

Besides the fact that it is actually the 4th anniversary of this blog (which I blogged about 2 days ago), something marvellous happened.

As you may recall, I lost the copy of my 50,000-word first draft when my laptop went up in smoke in early April. Understandably, I was devastated. But since I believe that everything happens for a reason, I decided to look at the silver lining.

May came around and I got a new laptop and while most of my data was online and could be retrieved, I was conscious that I had no idea how much of my draft had been backed up online.

And I didn’t want to check. A part of me fought back tears while this other part said ‘It’s probably for the best. Nobody would have read that book anyway. That’s why it left your side.’

We’re writers. Rejection is part of our life breath and so is disappointment. I’ve learnt to take a lot of disappointment on the chin but this? This was particularly hard.

The last I tweeted about the memoir was way back in November, 2016. That was a year and a half ago. But I know that I DID write after that as well but couldn’t bring myself to open that folder in my Google Drive to confirm how much was saved and how much of it was lost to the ether.

 

A year and a half is a long time in the writing world. Most authors write a book a month, if not more. And here I was , 18 months after the fact with no knowledge of whether the ‘book’ even existed.

Did it make sense to even continue thinking about it? I don’t know.

But today, I bit the bullet. I tentatively opened the folder and took a deep breath. I remember I had written the draft in 5 installments and had labelled them differently. The first thing I saw was all 5 files staring back at me!

But I couldn’t rejoice yet. I had to check if the word count matched. So I inhaled, opened each file and calculated the word count. Simultaneously I opened the calculator on a different tab and started entering the numbers for each file.

19,808 + 14, 546 + 8,706 + 4,635 + 4,765

= 52,460!

The numbersΒ  stared back at me from the screen and I confess I cried again, but this time out of sheer relief and joy. I had kept all hopes at bay and had even resigned myself to the possibility of 18 months of writing having gone down the drain.

But, this? This moment? I am unable to find words to describe it today.

This means that my story is ready for the world.

That I must finish this task that I began in February, 2015.

That even if 2 people read it when it is done, it would have fulfilled its role in the cosmos.

And from the bottom of my heart, I send up a prayer of gratitude to the Universe, my friends who sent messages of hope and consolation and who kept asking me to look for the backup.

Thank you. Thank you so very very much. Today, you made me believe that the writer in me is alive and well.

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When the Universe Responds, you know you've been receptive.


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15 thoughts on “An Emotional Day

  1. So happy for you! How wonderful and what a great sign from the Universe. I confess I cried when I read your post, too, Shailaja. Now go ahead and set about the process of publishing it!

    All the very best and looking forward to reading it.

    I wasn’t so lucky as my data loss was full and complete and too expensive to retrieve, that too without a guarantee that it could be recovered. So I simply decided to move on.

    Hugs!

  2. Woah!! I can imagine the relief that must have flooded within you. Probably as my mom always says, think positive and the good things of life came flooding over to you. Hope you are able to complete it soon and definitely more than that number of 2 people would read and appreciate it. All the best Shailaja!

    1. I do believe that’s true. The more positive we stay, the more affirmative the Universe is πŸ™‚

      Thanks for the kind words, Ramya. How sweet of you!

  3. Phew! What a relief. I don’t know how you maintain your cool, I would be under the desk bawling my eyes out if that happened to me.
    Well now we all can read your awesome memoir.
    And I am glad you took your time because we will get to read quality material. To me you are respecting your readers by giving them something that is worth reading. So don’t worry about timeline. 😊

    1. I honestly was too shocked to even think about what had happened. Kind of a numb feeling. I’m so touched that you believe it will be quality work. For your sake and mine, I hope that’s true.

  4. I feel really silly admitting to this, but I got a little teary eyed reading this post. All tears of joy and all that. So so SO happy for you, Shy.

    That being said, take this as a sign from the universe and get started with polishing this manuscript to publish it soon. Because waaaay more than 2 people in the world need to read this. Hugs.

    1. Not silly at all, because that is exactly how I feel each time I open the Drive and see it there. Overwhelmed, thrilled, relieved. It’s incredibly amazing.

      I intend to start on this very very soon. Shall keep you posted.

  5. It is indeed a moment to rejoice. I can understand how relieved you must feel. Look forward to the book. When you work hard He looks out for you. Best wishes!

  6. Just reading it fills me with so much joy! I can’t imagine the loss had you lost it due to the laptop trouble. But then good things happen to good people is my belief. So I knew that you would find it. And you did!

    Now that you have, you know what you have to do. πŸ™‚

    Sometimes in life we get signals. This is one of them. Onwards and upwards from here, dear friend.

    1. Thank you so much, Rachna. I wish I could star/love this comment over and over again. I cannot believe my good fortune.

      Indeed, I do know what to do. Thank you so very much πŸ™‚

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