Pick a medium bag.

Don’t make it big, because your heart will be too heavy.
Don’t make it small, for you may be tempted to change your mind.

Fold everything. Gently pack it all.Take only what you need.

Remember,Β it’s the final goodbye.

Leave no room, except for regret.


43 thoughts on “Desertion: A Micro Fiction piece

  1. The prescriptive but gentle tone of this piece both sets the mood and fits the prompt really well. I would have loved to see you go ahead and really let the second and third lines mirror each other by using “because” in both of them, and the voice in the “final goodbye” sentence doesn’t seem to fit well in the rest of the post, but overall this is a really tender little post that lets the reader map their own experiences (and even their own gender) into the piece to fill it out.

    1. Thank you, Rowan! I’ve always appreciated the depth of your feedback. Ah, the repetition of ‘because’ never struck me. I see how that would have worked as a nice rhythm to the piece. Now that I re-read the piece I get what you mean by the discordant note in the ‘goodbye’ sentence. Thank you, again, for the valuable advice.

  2. Love how this reads out as a recipe or instructions – shows how specifically we have to tell ourselves to do something when it’s a difficult choice. That indecision and uncertainty comes through.
    Nice final line – like how it suggests regret is inevitable.

    1. That reassurance is so necessary, right? I mean, the validation and justifying the decision when everything you feel may be the opposite perhaps? Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  3. Loved how you connected the physical bag with the emotional baggage that’s tough to leave behind even when you physically move away. Lovely piece of writing!

  4. I love how you phrased this as actual instructions. And that last line… Do you read Dead Housekeeping? They publish nonfiction, not fiction, but this has a definite flavor of their style.

    1. I do read Dead Housekeeping and am in awe of their contributors! That’s high praise. Thank you! I shall try and pitch to them again. I did a year ago. Maybe it’s time I did again πŸ™‚

  5. That is so beautiful, and heartbreaking. Regret finds room for itself sometimes even when we don’t keep it. Best is to bid goodbye to regret too.

    1. That would be best, I know. Sometimes, we can’t control our emotions though. They have a mind of their own. Sigh.

      Thank you, Darshana πŸ™‚

  6. If there is one thing that I’m proud of, it is not having any regrets at all.

    No matter what baggage I come with, I’ll never leave room for regret.

    Loved this one, Shy!

      1. I’m definitely not just saying that. This was such a beautifully constructed piece. I think it’s one of your best.

  7. How much you speak in such few words! Kudos. Wish there were no room for regret either but I know that it creeps up on you so easily.

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