In the hollow of my heart,
At the edge of the glass-adorned lake,
Blanketed by the unforgiving frost,
Stood I, in unspoken sorrow.
Tiny arms flailed,
Muffled screams were drowned.
I watched; I listened.
The silence echoed.
Deafeningly so.
The Universe paused.
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Oh! So unbelievably sad. That first stanza, though, is just beautiful, especially the final line.
Why thank you!
Gorgeous and oh so laden with pain. Breaks my heart.
Coming from you that’s a lovely compliment!
Wow, disturbing how the narrator just watched and did nothing to stop it. This is powerful and beautifully written. Nice job!
Yes, as mentioned to Nate, perhaps the narrator was unable to help.
Eerily beautiful. This read like an old poem!
I think that made my day.
The saddest part t o me is that the narrator stood by and watched. Either she couldn’t or wouldn’t help. I wonder why.
Never replied to this. My apologies!
I’d prefer to think she/he was unable to help. Frozen in time perhaps due to not physically being there. Perhaps a ghost or a snowman? That just opened up a whole new set of possibilities ☺
You have a way with words
Thank you. Good to hear.
Holy crap, do most people not realize this is a baby drowning. So sad. This will haunt me.
Ah yes. Perhaps the imagery took away from the plot? Food for thought. Thanks, Stacie !
Very nice. Crisp and brittle like the ice images you use. Cuts sharply, too, there.
I got the shivers! And not just from the blanket of frost, either.
oh that was heart wrenching and poignant!
Beautifully done Shailaja!
Thank you very much, Pixie!
You make the end of the world seem so pretty, Shailaja!
Thanks Kymm. Although, there IS a lot of pain there too.
You have painted the picture of sorrow from the heart that the Universe has to pause.
Kalpana, I am touched! Such a beautiful compliment!
The emotional picture and words is sheer delight. Profound words:)
Thank you, Vishal!
Yes, sometimes we stand still to the events, unable to react.
Well knitted Shailaja
Thank you, Meenal!
Wow. This little piece has it all. Your use of imagery is incredible. Wicked BURN! Nicely done, Shailaja.
Ha ha ha! Thanks, Susan 😀
I hope I used the word “BURN” correctly. It’s meant as the highest compliment. 🙂
Did you just ‘pause’ the universe? You really are a woman with super powers 😛
Jokes aside, a very vivid and beautiful description.
And why are you surprised by that? 😉
Thanks, Sid 🙂
This is so beautiful!
Thank you, for reading, Anna 🙂
Moving ! and such vivid description!
Thank you, Naba 🙂
Powerful words!
Thank you, Rachna <3
Brilliance, it’s too good!
Thank you so much, Keirthana!
Love it, especially “The Universe Paused”.
Thank you, Debbie! Glad you stopped by <3
Stunning! I am going to remember this one.
Now THAT’s what a writer likes to hear <3
wow!!! I paused when you paused the universe. Brilliant imagery.
My heart just danced a little at that comment. Thanks , Raj! <3
Loved the vivid description, Shailaja!
Thank you very much, Shilpa 🙂
Lovely! And so very evocative too!
Thank you, Shilpa <3
Beautiful play of words Shailaja !
Thank you, Nisha!
You sketch such a bleak scenario and with such ease. Wonderfully written.
Thank you Tulika <3
Beautiful! The imagery speaks volumes..great work!
Thank you so much, Uma! 🙂