In the hollow of my heart,
At the edge of the glass-adorned lake,
Blanketed by the unforgiving frost,
Stood I, in unspoken sorrow.
Tiny arms flailed,
Muffled screams were drowned.
I watched; I listened.
The silence echoed.
Deafeningly so.
The Universe paused.
Why thank you!
Coming from you that’s a lovely compliment!
Yes, as mentioned to Nate, perhaps the narrator was unable to help.
I think that made my day.
Thank you. Good to hear.
Ah yes. Perhaps the imagery took away from the plot? Food for thought. Thanks, Stacie !
Never replied to this. My apologies!
I’d prefer to think she/he was unable to help. Frozen in time perhaps due to not physically being there. Perhaps a ghost or a snowman? That just opened up a whole new set of possibilities ☺
Oh! So unbelievably sad. That first stanza, though, is just beautiful, especially the final line.
Gorgeous and oh so laden with pain. Breaks my heart.
Wow, disturbing how the narrator just watched and did nothing to stop it. This is powerful and beautifully written. Nice job!
Eerily beautiful. This read like an old poem!
Thank you very much, Pixie!
Thanks Kymm. Although, there IS a lot of pain there too.
The saddest part t o me is that the narrator stood by and watched. Either she couldn’t or wouldn’t help. I wonder why.
You have a way with words
Holy crap, do most people not realize this is a baby drowning. So sad. This will haunt me.
Very nice. Crisp and brittle like the ice images you use. Cuts sharply, too, there.
I got the shivers! And not just from the blanket of frost, either.
I hope I used the word “BURN” correctly. It’s meant as the highest compliment. 🙂
oh that was heart wrenching and poignant!
Beautifully done Shailaja!
You make the end of the world seem so pretty, Shailaja!
Kalpana, I am touched! Such a beautiful compliment!
You have painted the picture of sorrow from the heart that the Universe has to pause.
Thank you, Vishal!
Thank you, Meenal!
Ha ha ha! Thanks, Susan 😀
And why are you surprised by that? 😉
Thanks, Sid 🙂
Thank you, for reading, Anna 🙂
Thank you, Naba 🙂
Thank you, Rachna <3
The emotional picture and words is sheer delight. Profound words:)
Yes, sometimes we stand still to the events, unable to react.
Well knitted Shailaja
Wow. This little piece has it all. Your use of imagery is incredible. Wicked BURN! Nicely done, Shailaja.
Did you just ‘pause’ the universe? You really are a woman with super powers 😛
Jokes aside, a very vivid and beautiful description.
This is so beautiful!
Moving ! and such vivid description!
Powerful words!
Thank you so much, Keirthana!
Brilliance, it’s too good!
Thank you, Debbie! Glad you stopped by <3
Love it, especially “The Universe Paused”.
Now THAT’s what a writer likes to hear <3
My heart just danced a little at that comment. Thanks , Raj! <3
Thank you very much, Shilpa 🙂
Thank you, Shilpa <3
Thank you, Nisha!
Thank you Tulika <3
Stunning! I am going to remember this one.
wow!!! I paused when you paused the universe. Brilliant imagery.
Loved the vivid description, Shailaja!
Lovely! And so very evocative too!
Beautiful play of words Shailaja !
You sketch such a bleak scenario and with such ease. Wonderfully written.
Thank you so much, Uma! 🙂
Beautiful! The imagery speaks volumes..great work!