I thought of not saying anything at all. Then, I figured maybe I should blog about it.
Anger doesn’t help me. It probably doesn’t help anyone else either but the one thing I find best to calm me down is writing. It’s always been the case and I pray it continues to be so.
So, no. I am not happy with the outcome of the elections in the United States of America. Even as I type that, I realise the irony- ‘United’ States. Every outcome from this election has showed us one thing very clearly- the visible divide that exists in society; a divide we didn’t think existed deep enough to separate people the way it has.
I’ll tell you why this result has affected me personally, despite being far away from a country that I have nothing to do with as a voter or otherwise. And you may sneer, scoff at or mock my feeling, because it is a free country and a free world and I won’t begrudge you that. I just ask that you allow me to feel what I should.
If you’ve read my blog, you’d notice that I steer clear of political commentary. Why? Because, for one thing, I don’t consider myself qualified enough to say anything much on the subject. Secondly and more importantly, I don’t handle confrontations very well- online or offline. I tend to withdraw into my shell when people attack me through words. I am a sensitive person, which is both my strength and my weakness and changing that today will be well nigh impossible.
The one time I did speak about Trump on my blog was after those tapes were released that spoke of his utter disregard for women. Writing that post was cathartic but also very painful because it raked up unpleasant moments from my childhood.
Yesterday’s result did the same thing but magnified it many times over. Things I have not shared with the world or even my close friends, all of it surged to the surface in a giant lump of post-traumatic stress wave, when I realised that a possible child molester and a self-confessed misogynist is now in office. And I panicked.
Panic and stress manifest very clearly in my life. Urticaria.
My skin broke out in rashes all over yesterday and early today as I realised the magnitude of what has happened.
For your sake and mine, I hope we are wrong about this man. I hope that all his blustering rhetoric was just that. I hope that he doesn’t actually follow through on any of his outlandish affirmations.
But since I don’t know for sure, at the moment, I just suffer in silence.
So I retreat under my purple umbrella. This umbrella is symbolic of my friends who support me through my rough times. It signifies the splash of colour I so desperately need in a world that looks gray and far more dark than bright. It also represents the support I will unabashedly extend to the ones I love- my friends of colour, my minority groups, my wonderful, splendid blogging and writing friends- who are coming to terms with this event.
All I ask is that you be my purple umbrella and I will be yours. Even a silent support is better than none.
We need each other today. We need each other everyday.
*Image via Shutterstock
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