Heart weeping
Copious litres of saffron hue
Lungs pounding
Retching at the sight of blackened walls
Mind spinning
Bombarded by desire’s cavernous clutches
The addict attempts
To
Rise
But falls back
into
Temptation’s yawning, greedy chasm
Normalcy watches like a supercilious angel
©Shailaja V
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This post and the accompanying photograph originally appeared here on this blog.
No part of this may be reproduced without express permission of the author
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written for the Yeah Write Gargleblaster Challenge #163
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It’s concise and ensconces brevity but it’s an amazing exposition of all that is there to it. 🙂
Tushar Kumar Singh
Project Disavowed
Guess all readers have told it all. But still worth saying…nice one…you make me refer dictionary each time i read you…tks to introduce new words and for sowing the addiction to read…
Thanks Meena. Very nice to see you here 🙂
whoa. that’s deep. love your choice of words here like ‘saffron’ and ‘chasm.’
Sometimes, the words just work 🙂
Normalcy is always alone. As a cigarette smoker who has tried to quit and stay quit, this hits close to home. Thanks for this.
I am glad this resonated with you. I hope you get the strength to kick the habit for good!
So much pain in addiction. I love the copious litres of saffron to the supercilious angel. Great job.
Thanks Ann! Glad you stopped by.
Fantastic take on the prompt. Wonderful descriptions – yawning greed vs supercilious normal, and the addict’s never-ending fight. Love it.
Thank you Sarah Ann!
I love the very physical terms you use to describe the mental struggle and anguish. Very cool. thanks for linking this up, and congrats on the new blog – it looks great!
Wow, high praise from you, Christine! I am so honoured. Thank you very much, indeed!
I like the visceral elements you wove in, with the weeping heart, pounding lungs, and retching. For me it makes the attempt to climb in the last stanza feel like the sweaty, arduous task it is to fight addiction. Well done!
Thank you, Kay! I am glad that the struggle came through.
Ooo! Normalcy *is* supercilious. Love that moment in the poem, Shailaja!
Thank you very much, James 🙂
You’re welcome 🙂 you can call me Nate.
Will do, Nate 🙂
Such a human struggle, told so well. Love the imagery!
Thanks Jen 🙂 Testing the waters with the new blog 🙂
Normalcy is highly overrated in my book : ) Amazing opening “Copious litres of saffron hue” is entrancing.
Thank you very much. Ha, I agree with you. Normalcy can really be annoying 😉
You’ve described well the constant uphill clawing of addiction.
Certainly hope so. I think we are all addicted, in some form or another. Mine is blogging, for instance 😉
This is such a powerful piece. Loved your take.
Thank you!
Very nicely done. I enjoyed your take on this prompt.
Thank you for reading!
“Copious litres of saffron hue” This stays with me every time I read it. The rhythm of it is perfect.
Writing is therapeutic for me and I am glad I could reel you into my world. Thank you!
Fantastic use of imagery! I particularly love the supercilious angel and desire’s cavernous clutches. 🙂
Coming from a YW editor, that compliment means a lot, Suzanne! Thank you very much!
You capture the greedy pull of addition very well here.
P.S. I love the look of your new blog : )
Thank you thank you! So glad you’re here 🙂
I love how you structured this with heart, lungs, and mind doing the different things.
Thank you so much, Marcy. Did I tell you I loved the Gargleblaster post on your blog yesterday?
Suffering, faced with contempt. I can think of nothing more painful than that.
In many ways, that is the reality though, isn’t it? Thank you for stopping by.
Your use of language leaves me speechless
You, my dear, are too kind 🙂 How do you like the new blog?
Good one! Every word is perfectly chose. Nicely crafted.
Yes, I did put some thought into this one. Hope that came across. Thanks for visiting.
Powerful imagery. Love the last line.
Thank you Jennifer 🙂
Very nicely penned down different aspects of mind… Mind spinning
Bombarded by desire’s cavernous clutches – powerful lines. Thanks.
Much appreciated, Jayanta!
Addiction is a disease, deadly and dangerous. Your words beautifully portray the struggle and suffering of an addict.
Glad you agree, Sulekha 🙂
Kudos for using ‘Normalcy’. Don’t see that word every day 🙂
Perhaps because we’ve stopped realising its value. That’s an interesting observation, Paul!
Beautiful words Shailaja…so much pain and so much sorrow….yet told so beautifully!
Thank you Psych 🙂
Congratulations on your new blog Shailaja! Such a strong punch packed in these few words…wow 🙂
I am blushing, Vindodinii 🙂 Thank you!
Temptation is such a naughty child. Very well expressed and such a beautiful read:)
Thank you very much, Vishal. Glad you stopped by.
“The addict attempts to rise but falls back”….that’s such an accurate description. How do you manage to say so much in 42 words? 🙂 Very impressive! And all the best with the new blog!
Thank you so much, Beloo 🙂 Very pleased to see you here, encouraging my new blog <3
Loved the lines,specially “Normalcy watches like a supercilious angel”!! Wow really wonderful,
Thank you, Nima 🙂 So glad you stopped by!
This was my favorite line as well….magnificently descriptive.
Thank you, CC <3
Your words compliment the pic perfectly.
Thank you so much Rekha! Glad you think so <3
love your new blog Shy! love the look, love the fiction, love everything 🙂
You are way too kind. Keep the compliments coming, Gauri 😀
Loved the way you have expressed this.. “Temptation’s yawning, greedy chasm,
Normalcy watches like a supercilious angel!
Wonderfully written, Shailaja! And like this new blog of yours. Congratulations! ♥
Thank you very much Shilpa 🙂 I will be reaching out to you for tips on WordPress management. Be ready 😉