The Greatest loss- Part 2

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

– Maya Angelou

{This is Part 2 of my 3-part Serial story- The Greatest Loss. Read Part 1 here}

‘I don’t know who you are anymore,’ he said, looking at her helplessly. You need to take it easy, darling. This is not doing you any good.

And who will manage the bills? You, I suppose? she spat back, anger in her face and dark circles of irritability around her eyes. Don’t you know we need two incomes to survive? How are we ever going to pay off the mortgage on this house, if I don’t work?

I never said that. All I suggest is that you ask your boss to cut you some slack. I am sure there are others who can help share the responsibility. 

Ah, so you’re the expert now? On who can do my job well? Sylvia replied, sarcasm searing a hole in the air between them.

Shaking his head, Mark turned away, sending up a silent prayer and shrugging into his overcoat, before leaving for work. At the door, he turned and looked fondly at her, trying to see the woman that he had married, less than six months ago. He sought that sparkling smile, the black curl escaping from behind her ear or that impish dimple that lit up her face. Yet, all he could see was a careworn figure, seething and fuming, hair dishevelled, smoke rising out of her ears.

Another day wasted in arguing, she muttered to herself, watching the clock’s hands move. Darn it all! She was late for work! Hurriedly, she grabbed half a glass of orange juice and eyed the toast on the table. Her eyes switched to the clock on the counter and the toast was forgotten. Half running, half stumbling, her feet carried her out the door and into the icy winter.

winter road

Once at work, she stood in the foyer, shaking the snow off her lapels. Suddenly, her eyes glazed over in confusion. Where was she? Her eyes darted about and lit upon a middle-aged woman walking down the corridor towards her. Hello, Sylvia. Bit nippy out there, eh?

Swallowing hard, she managed a smile and replied, ‘Oh yes, it is.’ Before the conversation could go further, she scurried into the warm office, lined with cubicles. Linda looked up from her desk and waved Sylvia over. Hiya! How was last night?

Last night? Sylvia asked in confusion.

Yeah, weren’t you and Mark planning to go out for your six-month anniversary?

Oh, that, she laughed nervously, twisting her handbag’s strap. It was lovely. We , er..cut a cake. Chocolate frosting, my favourite. Sylvia was shocked that she was making this up as she went along. Last night was a total blur. Why couldn’t she remember what had happened?

Sigh, I hope I find my Mr.Right soon, gushed Linda, eyes staring into the distance.

Leaving Linda to her daydream, Sylvia walked mechanically to her booth and sat down. Her head hurt, all of a sudden and she didn’t know why. She had just experienced a mental blackout and she wasn’t aware why. After sitting and staring at the blank laptop screen for 30 minutes, she punched a button on the intercom and asked to speak to her supervisor. When he answered, she said that she would like the day off, if he could spare her. He acknowledged with a ‘Sure’ and cut the call brusquely.

Picking up her hat and gloves, she walked out into the chilly winds outside and looked up and down the street. Tears stung her eyes as she realised that things were getting worse. She had kept it to herself all these days, but this was the seventh time she’d experienced the blackout.

Before she knew it, her steps had carried her to the bridge overlooking the icy-cold river near her home. The crushing weight of despair sat on her shoulders as she watched her individuality disappear. A whispered voice told her that there was an easy way out. All it took was one step forward. The sheet of ice on the surface wasn’t fully formed. She wouldn’t even feel it hit her face if she dove straight down.

Perhaps then this pain would stop and with it, the anxiety, the uncertainty and the constant stress.

Putting one foot on the railing before her, she climbed up and stood looking over the bridge at the tempting chasm of death below.

{To be concluded…}

©Shailaja V

Read the Concluding Part here.

17 thoughts on “The Greatest loss- Part 2

  1. Can’t wait for part 3. It’s all around you these days – the expected pace of life is out of sync with the pace of our souls. Sometimes, I’d like to wind back the clock or set it to slow march mode. I hope this story ends well.

  2. The way you describe it, I can imagine the scene as I read! Lovely!
    Somewhat the story of every modern girl these days finding out the balance between work, home and herself!

    P.S- Please don’t let her do that! Please!

  3. I went back and re-read the part 1, that made me appreciate this part even more. The sad story of someone slowly losing grip on things in life….it is developing so well, I hope the ending is a happy one 🙂 Looking forward to part 3.

  4. Wow..very intriguing. I’m dying to know what happened next, Shailaja!
    Lovely piece of writing. Actually, there’s a writing contest on Women’s Web every month called muse of the month and this month’s cue was this very quote from Maya Angelou. So, for a moment I wondered if it was for that 🙂

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