Time is a strange thing. It is simultaneously abundant and scarce, depending on how we use it. As I look ahead at the new decade of my life that beckons, I also look back. In doing so, I find so many things that I can learn from.
February is generally the shortest month of the year, but for me, this year, it appears to be abundantly long. It’s only the 15th, but already I have so many lessons. I won’t share most of them now but will save them for my gratitude post at the end of the month.
Why write this post then?
I know. I do, believe me. We have enough content out there already. Why add to the flurry of articles, posts, blogs when you can pull back, introspect and reflect on what you know? Perhaps because, for me, this space is one where I come to be at peace with myself.
My other blog, my first blog, is my first love. While I love it energetically and enthusiastically, I am also overly attached to it. If something were to happen to it, I would be devastated. I’d pick myself up, of course, like I usually do. But I would take a long time to recover.
Conversely, this blog has become my zone of comfort. It’s like that trusted friend and older child whom I can confide in, without fear of judgment. We need more of those in the current climate, where everything you say can and will be dissected, argued upon and possibly debated at length.
Sometimes, you just need to slow down, smell the roses, write or blog because it makes you feel happy. For me, this blog fulfills that purpose.
Coming back to the subject of the post, I was talking about time and its presence in our lives. With two months to turning 40, I reflect long and hard upon the previous decade. How much I have learnt to come to grips with, it’s incredible.
While on the one hand, I have the best friends and supporters, I also have harsh critics of what I choose to do. While I came to terms with the idea of being a mother, I also had to face the decision of deciding to go back to work. It’s also with some trepidation that I face the question of mortality, not so much my own, but that of the loved ones in my life. Photos show me images from a decade ago, when faces looked younger, smiles seemed brighter and life seemed easier.
And with each passing moment, I know that we are moving on this carousel that never stops. Every step we take, every decision we make moves us forward on a path of our choosing.
I met with a friend today and we had a long, long chat on so many things, primarily about blogging, but also related to friendships, expectations, growth and moving on. We spoke about change and how it inserts itself in our lives, without our even realising it.
The one thing that we kept circling back to, however, was that we need to do what we love. You will always have critics. You will always find naysayers. But what matters is if you enjoy doing what you do.
And here’s the interesting bit:
When you do something you enjoy, time appears abundant.
Think about it. If you are a voracious reader, you find that you are able to read 5 books a week while others struggle to finish even one in a month. If you’re an artist, like this incredible woman I know, you will create a piece of complex Zentangle art every single day! Most others would take a week to do anything of that magnitude. If you’re a painter, you will gladly set everything else aside and lose yourself in the colours that come alive on your canvas.
Because you are doing work that fulfills you. It speaks to your soul.
Time knows this and it co-operates with your subconscious to enable it.
It took me a while to say this to myself, but I was co-incidentally reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert this morning and this passage leaped out at me:
Defending yourself as a creative person begins by defining yourself. It begins when you declare your intent. Stand up tall and say it aloud, whatever it is:
I’m a writer.
And nobody needs to tell you what it is that you love. On a day when everything is still, without and within, and you’re receptive, the thought will manifest and you will hear it, loud and clear.
Today, when I write or blog, I feel alive. I do it because, somewhere deep inside, I just know that this is what I have always wanted to do. And when it comes to creative work like writing or blogging, time expands like a rubber band.
As the days unfold, I look forward to the new decade with a mixture of confidence and discovery. When all is said and done, my creativity exists because I allow it free rein. And Time helps it along by making itself abundantly available to me.