Why bloggers need other bloggers

As a blogger, it’s been brought to my attention that community is a very important thing to cultivate in the world of writers. It’s not so much an ‘I-read-your-blog-and-you-read-mine’ scenario as much as it is a way for us to connect with people whom we really enjoy reading for what they have to say.

It’s not easy either. With the number of bloggers growing exponentially, almost by the day, keeping track of your favourite blogs can become a pretty demanding task. Writers are such suckers for feedback, as long as it is positive and praiseworthy. But where would we be without them?

Bloggers need other bloggers, Community, Blogging

Take my husband, for instance. The guy is really all I can ask for in a significant other- he whips up a mean Thai fried rice, plays mind-numbing games with the kid endlessly, talks about everything under the sun with her and keeps us happy. There’s one thing he does not do, however. He doesn’t praise my writing readily.

I’d written a fairly funny piece on the blog (well, everyone said so!) on the number of friends I have on Facebook and was delighted with the way readers gushed over it in the comments. Preening with the pride that could put a peacock to shame, I thrust my Tablet under his nose and said, ‘Read this. I think you’ll enjoy it.’ AΒ couple of chuckles and a grin later, he handed it back with the non-commital, ‘It’s okay!’

That’s when I saw red. ‘Just okay?’ I asked in a tone that implied doom.Β Quickly, he looked at me and said, ‘Oh! YOU wrote it? Why didn’t you say so? It was awesome.’

I’d have believed him if he wasn’t grinning and holding a cushion up to ward off my death stare. Bloggers, on the other hand, are extremely nice people. They will praise you, your writing and even convince you that the tripe you write is actually palatable for public consumption. Lesson learnt. Why go to my real family for false support when you wonderful people are here for me?

You know how it is, though. Writers are equally stubborn and keep banging their heads against the same brick wall, even though doing so can break the skull wide open. Determined to get a word of praise out of him, I casually mentioned this morning that my post on Depression had touched a chord with so many people that it had been shared over 300 times on Facebook alone!

With bated breath I waited for the inevitable compliment, the words that would say that I had finally arrived and that the world is now my oyster.

He shrugged, raised half an eyebrow and replied, ‘Katy Perry gets a million shares in a day.’

I think I am officially done asking for feedback from that quarter. Bloggers, I’m all yours.

This post won the third place in the Crowd Voting over at Yeah Write. Thank you all!

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93 thoughts on “Why bloggers need other bloggers

  1. Hahaha I do not show any of my ‘whatever I write’ to my husband because I know he will not be bothered and I don’t want to become a bugger. So one day I thought may be my father would appreciate what I write. And I made him read a hilarious post of mine. This word is what the readers drilled into my head after reading the post. To my utter dismay, he read the whole post with a very serious look on his face, not even once smiling and when he ended reading it, said “Write a book.” No this was not a compliment. He meant ‘Faltu kaam karne main time kharab kar rahi hai.’ πŸ˜€
    Therefore I concluded – Yeh ‘zaalim apne’ kya samjhe blogging ke sukoon ko, inse achhe to gair hi hain.

  2. This was funny! πŸ™‚
    Yes, I have found it the hardest for my loved ones to read what I write. My fiancΓ© reads as of now, but after reading about your situation, I can’t be sure what ll happen after marriage !
    That’s why we have #blogbuddies !

  3. I personally feel that our family (well you could include everyone in my immediate family in this bracket, including my child) never showers us with praises perhaps to keep us grounded while churning out great quality products (writing, food or anything else) repeatedly.
    I have grown so accustomed to the criticism or the two-three word feedback, that I have come to rate my performance (in my head)on the ways those are uttered.

    As far the blogging community, they’re forever supportive and encouraging us to keep writing.
    My Era recently penned this post Acceptance of ChangeMy Profile

  4. Can identify!
    My hubby feels blogging is a waste of time. But, once in a while, he reads the carefully chosen posts that I thrust to him πŸ™‚

  5. That was so true!! Our friends and family do encourage us to write more but they surely don’t want to be the constant readers and editors for our posts!! Then, why worry when we have a world of our own! Isn’t it? The world we love and that loves us back equally in the terms of words that is πŸ˜›

  6. Hahaha..I have only started blogging this year, but have been writing for quite a while. This post is SO on point. My hubby almost always starts with “It’s awesome!” When asked “What did you like best about it?”. He answers “Everything” , which I now have realised means 2 things.
    1. I don’t understand any of this and why it is important
    2. Can we discuss something else please?

    -Shantala

  7. Hahaha! This is SO relatable, Shailaja! πŸ˜€ My husband has zero interest in anything computer-related and he acts like it’s a real chore to look at something online. At best I get a cursory nod. To receive any sort of compliment requires a fishing expedition. LOL He does accept the concept of on-line friends, since he met two of them with me. Non-bloggers just don’t understand and it’s wonderful to have this support within the Blogosphere. You’re a great writer and don’t let anyone discourage you!

  8. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAA. i was beaming the entire time reading this. i know exactly how you feel!!!! my husband is not a writer at all but he definitely doesn’t give much feedback or encouragement either. the other day he read a post and said, ‘hm. i think you’ve improved a lot, you weren’t that good of a writer before.’ and i looked at him shocked and said, ‘what! i have over 10 years of blogging that you’ve never read where people said my writing encouraged them.’ and he just shrugged and looked at me like, ‘meh.’ -_-…

    hahhahah. that’s my way of say, GIRL WRITE ON and you rock. who cares what he thinks?! *high five*

  9. My husband sometimes reads my blog, sometimes not. He doesn’t usually say anything about the writing one way or another. But he REALLY REALLY doesn’t understand how I can have online friends that I’ve never met IRL. I feel like I know more about some of my online friends because of crushingly personal blog posts than I do about people I’ve actually met. I would let you guys stay in my house! He just doesn’t get it (he doesn’t even do FB though).

    1. As far as the online friends go, my husband is the same as yours. When he read my ‘1000 facebook friends’ post, he was highly skeptical. 1000 friends? Ha, what does he know? πŸ˜‰ And I would totally take you up on the ‘stay at my house’ offer πŸ˜€

  10. Sometimes, it’s the fact that we writers write what we care about; not what our SO’s care about, so don’t take his criticism too hard.
    Although, the detached reader (the one who really doesn’t care what you’re talking about) can offer the most useful insight.

  11. You know what I love about this? The universality of your message. It made me think about how blogging breaks down barriers and connects geographies in ways that are unique, I think. At the same time, you showed off your own individual personality. It was a wonderful read.

  12. My husband is amazing and wonderful in many ways as well, and he has been known to genuinely praise some of my pieces. But that was up to about a year ago. I don’t think he’s read anything I’ve written in ages and if I tell him about the nice comments or the conversations I have in blogland, he similarly rolls his eyes and says it’s all just a mutual appreciation society. So, like you, I’ve generally stopped talking about my writing at home. We writers have to stick together πŸ™‚

  13. OMG! I had to smile when I read this. I can so relate! My hubs, while being supportive of me doing my writing isn’t big on reading what I write and can’t really relate to it. He thinks I’m overly emotional and too open most of the time. Also he will question stuff I write in his usual analytical fashion instead of just letting the emotion touch him which is what prompted me to write the piece in the first place. I grit my teeth and remember that he is supportive in his own funny way and that my true supporters are the other bloggers who sweat and toil over their posts. They truly understand what it takes for me to put myself out there since they do it, too.

    I’m one of your biggest fans, Shailaja! Write on, Girl!

  14. Hahaha Shailaja πŸ˜€ We are all here for you and your blog. πŸ˜€
    Kudos to your better half though. What a super way to encourage you to aim higher. πŸ˜‰

  15. hahaha!! Katy Perry!!!
    My husband reads all my posts. He skims through the nonsensical ones. He even comes and tells me what he liked.
    I guess I should start wearing an evil-eye bracelet πŸ˜‰

  16. I think he is throwing the can-do-better attitude so that you will aim even higher. But as Rachna said, its necessary to keep us grounded.

    Anyway “It’s okay” is the answer I receive as the most when asked for feedback, whether on writing or cooking or anything for that matter. I would often mock him saying I have married an “It’s Okay guy”.

  17. Shailaja, could it be possible that perhaps your husband is secretly proud of you – jealous even?! – of your writing and your writing/blogging community?! Maybe he really does like/admire/love your work, but he is holding back so that you strive to write the best you utterly can. πŸ˜‰ There’s an expression along the lines of, “Aim for the moon, if you miss you’ll land on stars” – think of it that way, he is the moon, we (your loyal, loving, devoted fanfare blogging friends) are your stars! πŸ˜‰ <3

  18. Haha!! Like someone said yesterday, our popularity depends on other bloggers and it’s quite a lie to think that we have become a celebrity. I welcome positive criticism:)

    1. Well, celebrity is a relative term. We can still be popular among our circles. Plus. being celebrated or famous is not really my concern. Good writing is. And I appreciate good writing, whenever I read it. I guess my expectation must begin and end with me πŸ™‚

  19. What? You still ask your husband? πŸ˜‰ I think it is good in a way because they keep us grounded. Imagine if they praised us to the skies, we would be sitting on the ceiling fan and typing out our posts. πŸ™‚

  20. Husbands. A breed that honestly is a tough one to tackle. Mine never reads me until a friend or a colleague appreciates a certain post. But honestly it’s not just the positive comments we look forward to but critical feedback that helps us improve.

  21. I think I would have been more insulted by the comment your husband made after learning who wrote the ‘funny piece’. “Oh, you wrote it? Well for you, this was awesome writing.” It fairly curdles the milk of human kindness to hear such faint praise.

  22. Ha ha Shailaja your husband seems to have real honest .to have so what /what else kind of approach .Which extactly is like my brother ‘s . .tho use me may baadi baat hai.u kind of attitude that man(my brother has) saddly for person like me who shares everything with sparkle in her eyes gets such kind of sucking responses .but it’s fun to have such people to review your products and stories as they would really appreciate you in heart of hearts

  23. hah i think relying on the other half for constructive or uplifting comments possibly a waste of energy and i say that from my perspective and experience too. My husband reads nothing that i write and when like you i thrust it under his nose he might say hwat i could have done better, not what i might have already done well. I lovemy blogger buddies here, they are just fab πŸ™‚

  24. My husband reads my blog at least some times and he even shares few of them. πŸ™‚ He knows that such gestures will keep me happy and I will bug him less. I even talk about you guys to him and he just nods along with his usual listening face (he ain’t fooling me there. I know he hardly listens )
    I totally agree Shailaja, we bloggers should be there for each other. Honest feedbacks are found only here.

  25. My husband gives me just design advice (no, criticism) and I am grateful for that. It’s better than nothing, because other than that there is nothing!
    Nice post Shailaja! πŸ™‚

  26. Haha…well at least he has the guts to say the truth πŸ˜‰ Brave man though, knowing you are potentially cooking for him at times and can easily take revenge! My partner is the opposite…praises even the crappiest stuff I write. Reminds me of those reality tv singers & dancers whose families lure them into thinking they are awesome…

  27. Shailaja, I think you will find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. My hubby seems to be the long lost twin of your hubby. I get the very same feedback, if and when I tell him about my blog. Well, at least yours reads your posts. Therefore, I agree with you totally, that bloggers very much need bloggers. Had I not met you all, I would have stopped blogging long back!

  28. ‘he whips up a mean Thai fried rice, plays mind-numbing games with the kid endlessly, talks about everything under the sun with her and keeps us happy’ – after all this.. you want him to read your blogs too?? Give him some rest!

    We are always there for feedback.

  29. hmmm Well you are right we are suckers for feedback and yes a bit of praise but i think over time you get to know a few of the people who genuinely read what you write and when the ycomment they genuinely mean it , I as a blogger want that rather than a hundred comments (which by the way i hardly get these days πŸ™‚ , i am loosing the touch it seems πŸ™‚ ) he he he

    many i have seen read the first line and the last line and put a comment …

    regarding to your hubby it is true katy perry gets that many BUT who is katy perry πŸ™‚ he he he h

    Bikram’s

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