Winds of change

When the winds of change blow, some people build walls.

Others build windmills.

~ Chinese Proverb

Peace was the word I chose for myself for 2017. It’s almost the end of January and in a way, I think this has probably been the perfect choice for a number of reasons.

As I sit here, typing, watching my fingers tapping the keys in rhythmic motion, almost unconsciously since I know the placement of the letters fairly well now, I pause. There’s a sense of comfort in the way I blog or the way I write. I rarely have to think too hard about how the words come together or how the thoughts shape themselves into sentences and paragraphs. The best I can describe it is the way a river flows, without pause, meandering here and there, yet following a charted course of sorts.

This comfort is necessary for writers. We need to find that groove, that synchrony between the heart and the head. For each one of ย us, the method is different but there is a method.

I always write without thinking too hard but edit with every switch turned on in my brain. It’s why I take my time to write posts. There’s a subtle sense of order in the process that is difficult to capture in words.

And I figure this is what I love: Comfort. Like anyone, I enjoy my space, my cocoon of warmth that I’ve built for myself both offline and online. I’m tentative about letting people into this space which has earned me the title of being snobbish or stand-offish but the truth is, I’m very wary in my relationships.

Winds of change are always difficult to accept, for anyone. Stepping out of the comfort zone takes courage and also the incredible support of those you love, to make it possible.

Winds of change

And the winds,they are a-blowing in my direction again. In less than 3 weeks, we will be moving into a place we can call our own. It feels very gratifying and yet very surreal too. 15 years of marriage, 3 cities and 9 houses have we movedย together before this could happen.

A part of me is still recovering from the magnitude of this reality while the other excited me is whispering ‘It’s almost here. Can you feel it?’

And I can. Trust me, it’s hard not to feel that gush of joy or that sense of excitement when it’s something as novel as a new home. The last month and a half has been a bit of a frenzied blur for us. Almost every day was spent in discussing decor and design. From tiles to light fixtures, laminates to Burma wood, wallpaper to curtain designs, paint hues to shades of veneer, I can write a thesis.

That sense of seeing it all come together, from vision to execution almost day by day is an experience worth all the exertion. The stress has taken its toll, no doubt, but the peace it’s left behind is unparalleled.

And yet, there’s a sense of being uprooted, from this space I’ve been living in for the last 5 years.

I’ve made friends, the kind who will go out of their way to help me and my family. I’ve made connections of ย a deeply spiritual kind that I will miss dearly. And all of this happened after ย I turned 30, an age when making friendships doesn’t come easily to most people.

So, now this 38-year-old inside is wondering what she will do in a new place, with new faces, new people. Will she find it in her to go out and make those connections again? Or will she stay in a new cocoon? Will she dream anew or settle for the dreams she already has?

Will she build walls or will she build windmills? I suppose only Time will tell.

Until then, I look forward to savouring these moments in limbo: that space between an old home and a new one, where friendships endure everything from separation to long periods of silence and emerge stronger, come what may.

Through it all, the one thing I know will not change too much is the connection I’ve made through my words. The readers here, on my blog, will remain. They have seen me through many months of ups and downs, cheered my triumphs and empathised with my moments of anger and outrage.

For that, I am grateful. At least, here on the blog, the winds of change will not blow too fiercely. I shall take comfort in that knowledge always.

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19 thoughts on “Winds of change

  1. Congratulations on your new destination. I think everything will be fine.It’s great that you are enjoying the process and preparing for the change .That’s the best way.

  2. Congrats on your new home GodMa ๐Ÿ™‚ You know what I instantly pictured you on this comfortable chair, sitting peacefully in your new home (its bright and breezy, and I see a windmill outside your window) Its a space that will be yours in every sense of the way soon I know .

  3. Congratulations on new home ๐Ÿ˜€ that feeling of living in your own Abode and decorating it is so awesome… I felt the same last year… I would so love to see how you decorate your place. These changes can be quite unnerving… New people and neighborhood… But that’s just the initial phase. Oh and now you will have to find a new walking /cycling track.

  4. Oh, I love the flow of your post! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Many congratulations on the new home, it must be such an exciting time planning everything. I am sure you will make as lovely a connections as you did in this home. And yes, we will always be here. Love!

  5. Congratulations for your new home, Shailaja!
    Any change makes us anxious, but am sure you will find your new comfort zones real soon at your new place.
    Here’s to new beginnings and exciting times.
    Cheers!

  6. Its a great feeling to have finally a settled place. Being heading to 30 makes me think- Am I turning into a hard-to-be-friend like person? I think No but only time will tell. Writing a post seamlessly is an art but still editing my own words for all the readers out there makes me feel good. Congratulations.

  7. Congrats again for your new home and for the new change, Shailaja!
    Change is one constant that keeps us on our toes, is what I believe. And, try as we might to resist it, it’s going to take place, which makes us naturally able to face the change and work our way around it.Accept it and enjoy it.
    I am sure you will make new friends in your new place and add to the circle you have around you! <3

  8. hearty congratulations for the new house Shailaja! I can totally relate this, been there and done that! In fact we never are satisfied with the choices we get, search the internet, find so many different combinations, print it out and run to different stores.
    I remember a day when I was searching for the perfect furniture from one showroom to another without having food the whole day. I never was able to choose because I already had a mental picture of how it has to look, and believe my I got exactly that in a small furniture outlet. It is so perfect that anyone entering my home asks whether I had custom made it.

  9. Congratulations on the new home. It will be a beautiful experience. And I’m sure you’ll make new friends there too. It is going to be 4 years since we moved into our own place. And it has been wonderful.
    I love how seamlessly your posts connect with the reader in me. Love it the most about your posts. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Wow! Congratulations on the new home, Shailaja!
    I’m pretty sure there will be a windmill just out of the window of your home, and if it’s not there, I know that you won’t use your skills to make a wall. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Do take care, and wishing you all the very best! โค

  11. Congrats again, Shailaja. I am sure the new home will soon feel as if you have always lived there. Hard to believe that l have in mine for 14 years now! You will take some time to settle in but you will! have new friends again. Besides the old friends are close by. Just drop by and meet them when you are missing them. All the very best!

  12. Congratulations on your new home. I am sure it will be just perfect and will soon become your ‘place of comfort’. You are o right when you say that blog and your readers are the one constant comfortable thing in life. It’s a definite consolation.

  13. Congrats on your move, once again.
    And I’m sure ‘you’ll build windmills’ – as in, you’ll make more connections and ease right back in.

    Good luck!

  14. Oh ……. Indeed a lovely post, Shailaja. A feel good flow of words as gentle breeze. Hearty congrats for your new home. Really you will feel more comfortable and happy in your own cocoon. No doubt about it. And I challenge you, that you will get more friends, connections & engagements in your new place than your current space. Enjoy with your friends, both old and new from your soul and heart. Stay blessed always, dear. Loving to meet you in person soon. Hope 2017 will gift me this.

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